Getting too comfortable in your marriage and taking your spouse for granted can be predictors of divorce. Paying attention to danger signs in your relationship can prevent resentments and open the lines of communication before it’s too late.
Check out these warning signs that indicate a marriage headed for trouble:
You Have No Common Interests
Living in silence is a symptom of marital problems because your communication is limited. If you and your partner spend time together at home, social engagements and doing routine errands, yet rarely engage in truly meaningful conversation, deeper issues may be bubbling. Sharing your day, thoughts, and feelings creates a special bond between you and your spouse.
If you notice silences with your spouse, put effort into filling that void. Proactively working with a therapist can help you explore how to improve communication within your family.
You Can Do No Right
Do you often feel like are being watched, nit-picked and criticized by your partner? Do you feel intimidated or afraid, due to your partner’s constant criticism? Sometimes, couples funnel larger relationship issues into negative criticism of day-to-day tasks, to avoid facing hard truths.
Try to discuss with your spouse the smaller issues along the way, before they become intense. Tackling and finding solutions to the larger problems in your marriage will help you both feel more secure in your roles.
A controlling spouse often requires things to be done their way, causing chronic tension for everyone. If this is the situation, you may be better off divorced.
You Are the Last to Know
When you become the last to know important information, there has been a breakdown in communication. This is often indicative of an erosion of the emotional bond in your marriage. Both partners must be committed to communicating, but good communication habits can begin with one. Give it a try!
Change(s) in Appearance
Over time, your comfort level with your partner will evolve and override the desire to appear “perfect” for him/her. A change in personal appearance and hygiene by your spouse may be a sign that they are taking you and the marriage for granted.
If your spouse has begun to let their physical appearance go, gently discuss the problem with them. Let your spouse know you appreciate them and feel respected when they look their best, and commit to doing the same yourself.
Conversely, if your spouse has become abnormally aware and unusually conscious of their physical appearance, this may also indicate trouble. Try connecting with your spouse on an emotional level and sensitively address the issue(s), before things head south.
“Satisfying marriages are those where the couple enjoys recreation activities together.“
Leah Hill | CEO and Founder, Divorce Strategies Northwest
Living with Distractions from Problems
Gone are the days when you noticed and appreciated each other’s unique qualities; your relationship has become comfortably routine. If you notice that you are both preoccupied with social media, friends or television, if you both frequently have something else that draws your attention, this could indicate a deeper problem between you.
It is common for individuals to use distractions to avoid dealing with a troubled relationship, stressors or other concerns.
Arguing Repeatedly Over Small Things
You’re living in a cycle of conflict instead of problem-solving. If your arguments become routine, frequent, and cover the same issues with no resolution, then your marriage is suffering. The assistance of a professional therapist to help find solutions to recurring problems is well worth the time and effort to preserve your marriage.
Living in a toxic, destructive cycle can be harmful to your children and can ultimately damage your relationship(s).
Intimacy Has Faded
A decline in physical affection is one of the most universal symptoms of a failing relationship. Intimacy is the act that bonds spouses together as husband and wife. If your partner shows very little interest or no interest in intimacy with you, they are showing little concern for their emotional bond with you as a husband / wife.
Or, there is a problem in the marriage that is keeping them from being able to feel intimately bonded to you. Lack of intimacy in a marriage may be an issue of trust. This should be addressed with a professional before it becomes a bigger issue.
Your Trusted Partner
Whether you’re contemplating a divorce, have already started the process, or are far into the proceedings, do you wish you had someone to share with you the inside scoop on how to save money, time, and emotional energy on your divorce?
Our team is available for a complimentary consultation to discuss the many scenarios, options and implications of separation or divorce, via telephone or videoconference during this time. Feel free to get in touch with us; we are here for you!
